Weblog

Saturday, 30 May 2009

  • Currently
    Bid Time Return
    By Richard Matheson
    see related

    Saturday, in the Park - wish it was the fourth of July

    Saturday morning - 6am. A telltale flashing of bright light precedes a lazy roll of thunder outside my window. The dog is whining. He hates to pee in the rain, which means before I make it back into the house, someone is bound to spot me in my bathrobe. Ah well. The old days of sleeping in have been reinvented. Late now means something like - what - 7? I walk back into the living room, making my way through a dark dining room while vaguely recollecting my husband’s predawn kiss goodbye. He will be working in Al Capone territory today. The last time we were there, we stayed at The Elms (the place where Harry S. Truman famously held up that paper declaring Dewey Wins) and looked for ghosts while waiting for a swamped, Valentine’s Day-partying hotel kitchen to bring us a very late night filet mignon. It was our first. We ate it over a hobbling, 1930's table previously dined on by mafiosos while watching LOST on my overused laptop - and we’ve never looked back to overcooked steaks since.

    I hate that he works on Saturdays.

    Still, it will be - was a couple of hours - before my daughter wakes. The house is already in a mild state of soothing shabbiness from all my recent reading. I blame the rain - and do so with a smile. Coffee cups are scattered here and there, reminding me of chapters I read in those corners before setting my cup down high enough that the dog can’t reach it. He has a weakness for dreggs. And raw onions, it seems. Books, open, closed, shuffled through, tabbed and marked, are in stacks. A page of Barry Manilow (you read that right) sheet music lays open on the piano - the latest in my attempt to relearn a lost art. And, as a buffer to what I hope is a real breakfast before 10 o’clock, I’ve been eating the last of the yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting (made from scratch with my recent gift of a pro stand mixer - wheeeeee!) straight from the pan and wishing to high heaven that I had something in the house besides decaf.

    In short, it is a sleepy, saturated Saturday morning. I am looking at the cozy bottles of Jeunette Rouge and Labelle and thinking they will have to wait a little longer if they are to be paired with the sunshine and summer salad they deserve. Hopefully, only a little longer.

    I glance through my tiny kitchen window down to the garden. I have not even planted my basil and tomorrow is June! And - hush - I may - I am contemplating - yes! - to skip the gardening altogether this year and just allow the summer to abuse my roughhewn beds with weeds while my daughter and I enjoy those last weeks she has before starting school. Our wild days are almost over. Soon it will be all tidiness and number two pencils around here.

    Won’t that be nice? For a while.

    I think, in that Provencal sense that brings visions of trufflehunts with pigs, that perhaps we here were born to be wild.

    The planned lazy day at the public pool will have to wait. All is Seattle today - Edinburgh in the fall - all rain and galoshes - mudpuddles and espresso. In some parts of Missouri those last two have no delineation. So...

    Off! Off with the deplorable news! Off with the...shoes - perhaps? Off to an unknown - indoor - parallel universe we go! And by that, we most likely mean a bookstore.

Monday, 19 January 2009

  • Currently
    The Everlasting Man
    By Gilbert K. Chesterton
    see related

    Book Goals for 2009

    Yes, I will keep editing this thing.

    My list appears to be growing and growing. This is at least the third time I've added more titleS! And when I told my officemate that I intended to attempt both Dune and Don Quixote in one year, she laughed.  heh

     

    The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman
    Friends, Lovers, Chocolate - Alexander McCall Smith
    Island of Dr. Moreau - H. G. Wells
    The Divine Conspiracy - Dallas Willard
    The Thief - Megan Whelan Turner
    Ladies of Grace Adieu - Susannah Clarke
    The Spy Who Came In From the Cold - John LeCarre
    Book 2 in the Evan Evans series - Rhys Bowen
    The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett
    Witch Wood - John Buchan
    And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie
    The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
    The Book of Lost Things - John Connolly
    The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K. Rowling
    New Moon - Stephanie Meyer
    Julie & Julia - Julie Powell
    The Napolean of Notting Hill - G.K. Chesterton
    The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society - Mary  Ann Shaffer
    The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco
    Shepherd of the Hills - Harold Bell Wright
    Don Quixote - Cervantes
    John Adams - David McCullough
    Truman - David McCullough
    Night Train to Lisbon - Pascal Mercier
    Dune - Frank Herbert
    The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
    Excellent Woman - Barbara Pym
    The Story of Edgar Sawtelle - David Wroblewski
    Three Cups of Tea - ??
    The Devil in the White City
    The Book of Atrix
    The Circle Trilogy - Ted Dekker
    I Am Legend - Matheson
    The Yiddish Policeman's Union
    Howl's Moving Castle
    Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Philip K. Dick
    Odd and the Frost Giants - Neil Gaiman
    The Time Traveler's Wife - Niffeneggar
    Manalive - G.K. Chesterton
    The Stand - Stephen King
    A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

     

    So far finished: The Sunday Philosophy Club - Alexander McCall Smith
                            I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith
                            Tuck Everlasting - Babbit
                            American Gods - Neil Gaiman
                            Marley & Me - John Grogan
                            Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
                            Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
                            Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World


     
    Reading: The Everlasting Man and.....

    Granted, a much more conservative number on my list this year, but I've tried to be more realistic since I know the number of house projects we'll be undertaking. We must get lavender and boxwood into the front beds. And find a proper biscuit tin. And then there are the tomatoes and herbs. London starts school in the fall, and I may (will) be job hunting. Oh, if only January were a wee bit longer. I've never wished for a delayed spring before.

    That thing they say about life being short is really very true. *sigh*

     

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

  • Christmas Eve Eisteddfod

    Tonight is Christmas eve, and each of us will be "performing" a selection in front of the fire. My mother and father and Nathan and I all have reading selections. London, who is an interesting four, will be not only telling a story (from memory) - she has selected the very dramatic Horton Hears a Who - but singing a song using her plastic microphone with the vibrating metal prongs in its bottom.

    Last night she was practicing.

    "Mommy!! Come here!"

    I open the door to her room and she is standing atop her toy chest as though it were a stage. A very edited version of Santa Clause is Coming to Town is vibrating her microphone. She is wiggling her hips.

    "Very nice! Is that what you're singing tomorrow night?"

    She nods yes and I close the door again, locking the very trapped looking dog back into her room. About two minutes later:

    "Daddy! Come here!"

    "She's practicing her song for tomorrow," I say. He grins. We both go back to her door and look inside. This time, we find her standing, again, atop her toy box, but there's an addition. A jar with a few pennies at its bottom is sitting next to her feet. She is singing very enthusiastically now and pointing at the jar.

    Needless to say, Nathan didn't make it back out of the room until his pockets were emptied.

    We'll see if the jar shows up tonight. It appears we're raising a capitalist.

     

     

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

  • Currently
    Christmas in Wales: A Homecoming
    By Jane Maas, Michael Maas
    see related

    Hiraeth

    Look, look, the dusk is growing! My branches lofty are taking root....Can't hear with bark of bats, all them lifeying waters of. Ho, talk save us! My foos won't moos. I feel as old as yonder elm. A tale told of Shaun or Shem? All Livia's daughtersons. Dark hawks hear us. Night! Night! My ho head halls. I feel as heavy as yonder stone. tell me of John or Shaun? who were Shem and Shaun the living sons or daughters of? Night now! Tell me, tell me, tell me elm! Night night! Telmetale of stem or stone. Beside the rivering waters of, hitherandthithering waters of. Night!

    ~ James Joyce, Finnegans Wake

     

    Thoughts from the zig-zag tree.

     

    Hiraeth, she thinks, while stirring her Highland Grogg and dreaming of counting the fairy steps at St. Govans.

    Hiraeth.

    She drinks the scent of maple and finishes her bacon sandwich, turning to the sugared and sprinkled Christmas tree.

    Hiraeth.

    Nadolig Llawen. And a happy new year too. There are no tears unless we have learned to love something, somewhere, and long for it. At my age, loving and longing seem very much the same. And the magic that bridges them, lies (symbolically anyway) beneath the stones at Beddarthur - a secret only the taleweavers can tell. The holy place where the King lies holding the foundations of His world, disallowing their cracking. Hiraeth. I feel it now. The chief cornerstone. The star of St. David. The secret symbol of the shouting news. Of the sacred, the Stone Hinge. Stone, unmoving. Hinge, time rests. On Him. The cosmic precipice. Swinging back and forth like a door that is forever open.

    Hiraeth.

    Bring to me, she prays, St. Govan’s steps - and secrets. Bring me home, someday to Wales, and if not there, then There, where the True King sits, but never sleeps. And waits. Waits to move the mountain. Waits for his ravens, bound and shackled, to be set free. But if possible, to Wales, where the sun-King and cross-King meet.

    Happy Christmas, Nadolig Llawen, me. Happy Christmas, Nadolig Llawen, you. Happy Christmas as you find yourself looking for home and discovering that place you already knew - somehow - because it is in your skin, waiting for you to come back from wherever you’ve gone.

    She sniffs, and tries very much to stop the sniffing. The table of Californian women, complaining about snow and cold, stare. It is useless.

    Hiraeth.

    She stands and muffles her tears as best she can in the downy curtain that cradles her coffee-house chair, pretending to admire the teardrop-baubled chandelier.

    Hiraeth.

    She gathers her coat and out the door, fare-welling the book she will not open again until next December, knowing she can never shake the Country of her Birth. It is stuck too fast. She teeters through the icy road on tip-toe, aware that emotion of the deepest kind is pitiable in this type of weather, like a VW attempting to pillage seven feet of snow.

    Hiraeth, she calls. I’m coming. I hear you, there. The family, Lewis, I’m coming. God knows I’m coming.

    And by the Lion, she’s going. Someday. Happy Christmas forever. And a Happy New Creature, amen.

     

    When you are old and gray and full of sleep
    And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
    And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
    Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

    How many loved your moments of glad grace,
    And loved your beauty with love false or true;
    But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
    And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

    ~ William Butler Yeats

     

     

Thursday, 18 December 2008

  • The Gift of Nothing

    I had three pieces of limestone on my desk,
    but I was terrified to find that they required to be dusted daily,
    when the furniture of my mind was all undusted still,
    and threw them out the window in disgust.
    ~ Henry David Thoreau, ‘Economy’, Walden

    'September Spending' has such a negative ring to it. However, for Nathan and me in 2007 it sparked a year in which we chose - I believe somewhere in a Philadelphia diner or pub - to live dangerously.

    A sober pact was made between us to, for at least one year, abstain from spending money on anything that we did not absolutely, positively need. I shall be clear. We defined ‘need’ on the most basic level - if we don’t have ‘this’ we will die.

    As of this last September, the year has passed, and what a year it’s been. We had no idea that, just as our pact was expiring, the world would be falling into financial ruin around us.

    All of this had been inspired by an earlier personal pact I had made with myself - the book buying ban. This self-inflicted ban meant no book purchases unless:

    1) the book was a gift for someone else

    2) I had tried to find the book at the library and could not

    3) I had tried to find the book posted online and could not

    4) the book was over 999 pages long, and therefore impossible to read within a library’s timeframe.

    Granted, it was not that extreme of a ban, but there it was - (my only caveat was gift cards). Once I had passed rules one through four, I still had to ask myself if I needed to read the book (for research, etc.) and if the answer was yes, I had to find the cheapest fully intact copy available. God bless those quarter copies on Amazon.com! Further, this ban was (is) only to be lifted upon my first step into a British bookshop, complete with dusty leatherbound editions (who never say ‘flashlight’ instead of ‘torch’ or ‘sidewalk’ instead of ‘pavement’) and a little old man sitting beneath a brass green-glowing banker’s lamp.

    It was a monetary decision, you see. Stop buying books (let’s face it, I already own nearly a thousand) and start saving money for a little visit across the pond. Then, one can read on a train - that kind of train - where fiction finds its perfect rhythm.

    Philadelphia, the very literary city my husband agreed to take me to upon winning a pair of airline tickets, was the solitary rulebreaker for my book ban. I was allowed some minor book purchases on that trip. And they were lovely old books too. All highly sentimental in the literary/historical sense that is most likely meaningless to anyone but me. But this purchase led us to talking - as most everything does - this time, about Thoreau.

    I have a dreadful copy of Walden, you see. It is a paperback I managed to pick up at a tacky garage sale years ago for - oh, I think for free. The pages are brittle and yellowing. The front cover feels very delicate - much like the cover of The Fellowship of the Ring I managed to finally disintegrate from my sister-in-law’s beloved copy a couple of years ago. It also smells. Not necessarily in that musty old book smell that some of us find addicting.

    But, it’s Walden. How can one, who is reading Walden and loving Walden, and already owns a perfectly useful copy of Walden, say to himself with any degree of rationale that it is time to purchase a new copy of Walden? Even if he is somewhat near that part of the world which inspired Thoreau’s madcap brilliance in the first place? No matter how beautiful, how tempting, how gorgeous a copy is.....well, there you go.

    And then came the subsequent spark.

    And if one loves Walden, and feels himself being changed by it and agreeing with so much of it, how can one continue in the pursuit of purchases which do nothing but inflate or temper the ego....and drag one down into the rich young ruler’s difficult world.....and causes entire global economies to collapse?

    One can’t.

    And so we decided.....to do nothing. Ahem. Nothing meaning not a single purchase of an unnecessary item for ourselves for one year.

    The Rules:

    1) If it is broken, we fix it.

    2) If we can’t, we discover if it can be re-used for something else.

    3) If it’s ugly, we allow God to redefine for us that measure of beauty that we had, long ago, forgotten.

    4) If we can live without it, get rid of it

    It hasn’t been easy - no, no not at all - and I’m sure we’ve been less than perfect in our execution - but it hasn’t been boring either. For one, the challenge in our household to ‘make due’ became a game - and nothing excited us more than finding ways to divert our funds from unnecessary consumerism and into things (we hope) God would have us use His money for. Because, after all, it is His money. Always has been.

    We have felt ourselves, in fact, so brutally altered that we have decided to continue beyond our year’s end and into the far future. While we are allowing ourselves to spend on a few things of non-essential value, the rules have pretty much remained. We use what we have. We shop in our own closets and cabinets. When we can’t find what we need, we buy secondhand first, new things only as a last resort. We worry less about the impressions we’re making on those who have, and more about impressing generosity upon those who have not. I know that I personally have gone from being a person of excess to someone who absolutely refuses to get rid of her toaster, and who cried when her 60 year old vacuum finally needed replacing. It was a long distance run for me. My husband, who used to be a very spontaneous BIG spender, now nearly breaks into hives when he purchases anything that costs more than 10.00. Unless it’s pot roast. And this year, rather than splitting up during the hectic December season and shopping for each other, we adopted a family and shopped for them together.

    In short, the year has passed, but the lessons have stayed with us. We have changed.

    We are obstinate to do no work on Sundays, unless it is charitable or absolutely necessary. We love each other instead of just talking about it. We are trying to love our neighbors as best we can, though we humbly admit it isn’t always easy. We imagine that loving us can’t be easy for them either.

    At the end of this Simplicity, Simplicity, Simpicity! we find ourselves, happily, free. We find ourselves awake. We find ourselves alive.

    A year of poverty - a year at the lake - or perhaps we should rephrase - a year cleaning out that inner cesspool which too often stagnates within the human heart - has proved to be, perhaps, the best year we’ve had together yet.

    This year, this pact, was a gift. The gift of nothing. And in the end, it was the best Something we had received in a long, long time. We highly recommend it to anyone still trying to find that Perfect Gift.

    Ah yes, and, in case anyone wonders, that copy of Walden still lies in Philadelphia..... though *sigh* it was such a beautiful copy.

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

Cymrugirl

  • Visit Cymrugirl's Xanga Site
    • Name: Melissa
    • Country: United States
    • State: Missouri
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/26/2005
Your section contained code not allowed in the new custom module

About Me

  • I may already be dead, just not typed.

Pulse